NZ: Dunedin, Museums, and Walks

*Before you pass judgement on what is written throughout this post, let it be said that, during my time in Dunedin, I was full of cold, so my energy levels were not at their fullest. A large amount of energy is necessary for most things around Dunedin. There. Enjoy.*

 

Dunedin came as a strange change from Christchurch. For some reason, it is still sunny down here. I was expecting snow or at the very least a bitter chill but no. It’s actually quite warm, coming in roughly around fifteen/sixteen degrees Celsius (I realise that this is not warm for most countries around the world… but it’s pretty warm to me!)

Having said this, every night I have been in Dunedin, it has rained all through the night, and then cleared up by morning. How weird is that?! Clearly there is some Student God blessing the city with nice weather.

Dunedin, in case you hadn’t noticed from that previous statement, is a student city. One of the biggest universities in New Zealand is here (Otago university) and because of this, you have Kiwis from all over the country come here to study. Not only that, but plenty of foreign students live here, usually staying at hostels.

The day I arrived in Dunedin it was late (meaning about 8pm). Naturally, after sitting on a bus for six/seven hours, I had no desire to really do anything, so I just went to bed and generally chilled out the best I could.

This hostel was a lovely one (On Top Backpackers – dirty minds go crazy), but my only issue was how noisy and squeaky the beds were. If someone moved on the top bunk in the bed adjacent to yours, you still felt your own bed shaking. Safe to say, sleep was not my friend these few days.

Anyway, the next day dawned bright and early (at least, I presumed it did. I was still asleep) and I still had to decide what to do with my day. So I jumped onto the interweb (free limited Wi-Fi kindly provided by the hostel) and researched the top things to do in Dunedin. Two things caught my fancy (one, I will admit, I already knew about).

The first was the “steepest street in the world”. This is the one I knew about. And also knew this wasn’t strictly true. It’s the steepest residential street in the world. I can’t say I really felt like walking up a steep street when I was struggling to breathe already (it was also an hour’s walk away), so I opted for the second option: the museum.

As my family will know back home, I strongly dislike museums. However, when in Rome… obviously not literally when in Rome. I’d be very surprised if I’d managed to bus all the way from New Zealand to Rome in six hours.

As my family may also now know, I have a fascination with the Maori culture. To my great joy, there was a fairly large exhibition regarding all things Maori, so I had an enjoyable time wandering round here aimlessly, taking pictures of whatever took my fancy. What added even more enjoyment to this, was that the museum was pretty much empty apart from myself and the curators (at least I think they were curators).

Truth be told, I dislike reading information in museums. I much prefer walking through and taking in all the interesting and unusual displays. And when it comes to Maori art, I am pretty much content to just look and take all of it in.

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There was another exhibition in the museum (that I mainly went in to for my mum and step-dad’s benefit) that was full of pottery.

I don’t dislike pottery, I just despair at the fact that my step-dad is an avid collector of bizarre and unusual pottery. Sadly, none of the pottery here was truly outlandish, but I took pictures of some nevertheless.

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Finally, there was one more section that I thought was pretty incredible. It was the 2015 Otago Wildlife Photography Competition.

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I actually failed spectacularly to take pictures of the entries, except for one… probably the reason I remembered to take a picture of this one was because its fantasy related.

The caption: Here there be Dragons!

That about concluded my time in the museum. See as I felt completely drained of energy, I went back to the hostel and spent the rest of the day watching films in bed. Which I hadn’t done in a long time and it felt very pleasant.

Now, the next day, it was my intention to walk up the steepest street, yet I still felt pretty awful, so I had to sacrifice that joy (deep down in my heart I was pretty happy), so instead I just opted to go on a walk around Dunedin and try explore a bit more.

There is a very cool and snazzy area in Dunedin called the Octagon, which, as you can probably guess, is a collection of buildings in the shape of an Octagon. Obviously it is impossible to take a photograph of this, so my good friend Google helped me out here (the same goes with the cover photo).

Dunedin Octagon

I’m not entirely sure where I walked, I just remember that I passed a lovely cathedral:

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And also found myself in a park where there was a large collection of birds just milling around:

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Now, I would like to apologise for the almost dull post here, but there isn’t really a lot you can do if you’re feeling under the weather. Still, it is onwards and upwards (technically downwards) to Queenstown from here on out! Where hopefully I shall feel better… I seem to remember last time I was in Queenstown I felt ill as well… perhaps this will become a common cycle?

NZ: More Wellington, Football, and Another Museum

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve actually (almost) started to enjoy going to museums!

Life continues in Wellington as it should. I am content, living in an actually pleasant hostel, with friends around me. There is no update on the job front yet – still waiting to hear back from places. The apartment has also taken a new turn, as I do not feel comfortable with being tied down until February (as the lease runs until then) before finding a job. Perhaps I will find a job soon and then I shall have the privilege of feeling able to fork out money for the flat. But not right now.

It is also Halloween in two days! I have been invited to two parties: one hosted by the hostel I’m staying at, and one is a “20s ‘n’ 30s Halloween party” which I feel slightly ashamed to go to, as I am not actually of the age of twenty… Still, I shall either lie and say that I am, or I shall take the moral high ground and come clean and take whatever fate has in-store. Though, I am sure they shall lenient.

Furthermore, I am half-debating finding some place to WWoof in the city, where I shall not be paying money for accommodation, but shall still be able to easily access the city for interviews or meet-ups or whatever I wish. Even if I still had to pay for food, it would save me a considerable amount of money.

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That about sums up Wellington from me. Now onto the football match.

I can now say I have seen Wellington play in a game of both rugby and football. When asked which one I enjoyed more, I’d, rather shame-faced, have to say I preferred the rugby. The football game was enjoyable, don’t get me wrong, but the atmosphere at the rugby was so much more enthralling. Plus, it was chucking it down at the football match, and I hadn’t brought my coat, due to my friend saying it was quite warm. Oh how wrong I was.

Fortunately, my American friend (who has been mentioned this time, she’ll be pleased to know) managed to obtain free tickets to the football game. So she kindly invited me, and asked if there was anyone I wanted to bring along. Much to my delight, I had re-established contact with one of my old travel friends who I had spoken to before flying to Hong Kong, and had built up a nice friendship with. He also happened to be staying in Wellington, which was helpful, as it meant I could actually invite him to the match. So, the Three Musketeers (slight variation from the original story, but still) went to the match.

It was an A-league match, which, from what I gather, is a league consisting of New Zealand and Australian teams. Wellington Phoenix versus Newcastle Jets. A battle for the ages.

Not really. Wellington Phoenix won easily 3-0. There was one highlight of the game: a substitute came on for Newcastle Jets, with the surname “Geronimo”. I was quite content after this.

I don’t actually think we even stayed for the full ninety minutes. That’s how dull it was towards the end. Still, it must’ve been halfway decent, for I had that itch, that desire, that niggling little longing to play football afterwards. Unfortunately, we were tired, had no football, and didn’t like the weather. So I headed back to the hostel, with the intention of going out again later on in the night. That didn’t happen. I collapsed, and never heard back from my friend. I wasn’t too upset, as I was utterly shattered. Don’t ask me why – life of a backpacker doing fuck-all (excuse my French, family members) is very exhausting.

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Still, the next day dawned and I don’t think a lot happened that day either.

As the first line suggests, I did go to another museum. This one was called the ‘Te Papa Museum’ and was free! Always a bonus, as I don’t think I would ever willingly pay to gain entry to a museum (sorry, mum, but I haven’t changed that much!)

The museum was… In all honesty, I have no idea what the museum was. There was one exhibition called “From Mountains to the Sea”, which was quite cool, but short. As the name suggests, it shows birds and beasts from the mountains and then on the ground, then moves onto sea creatures. There was a giant squid on display (dead and ‘beautifully’ preserved, as the description told us) which was quite interesting to see. It had a flat front! That was odd.

What else did we do in the museum… Oh yes, there was a big Maori section on the second floor, entitled “Blood, Earth & Fire”…

It wasn’t quite what I was expecting. There was a little about New Zealand’s impact on the war, before it trailed off into more Maori culture. Mostly, it depicted there epic journey to New Zealand. There was a game you could play of this, where all you had to do was click one button and you were there! I won every time!

There was also another game (you can tell that I’m immature at heart when the terrible games, designed for children around the age of three, entertain me more than an actual museum exhibition) that involved choosing three things for survival before you make the crossing. Safe to say, I chose wrongly, and I died (virtually, of course), much to my disappointment. Still, I was entertained for a good five minutes.

Trying to think what else there was at the museum. There were some beautiful Maori buildings, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think any of us were particularly alive or awake enough to fully enjoy the museum. I expect we’ll go back and take our time, exploring the various areas (of which there were a lot) that we didn’t explore on that day. That day being yesterday… I think.

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The days all blend into one whilst you’re travelling. You enter a frame of mind where time doesn’t matter to you. You just aim to enjoy yourself, and just try your best to enjoy life, not matter what it throws at you.

Smaller, less important updates: writing is going well. I have written a blog post for my other blog, about my religious views (I blame the Pope) and shall upload that at some point. Furthermore, my many stories (of which I am trying to write/edit too many at the same time) are still going strong. My Hobbit fan-fiction is being added to, and my Maori story is being revised to amend all the small, niggling errors that you notice when you read, but not when you write. Fenilia, which has become my main, new story, is also making slow progression. It comes and goes whether or not I believe my writing is any good. Sometimes the words flow and I feel as though it is coherent and engaging; whilst others it seems to be a bit too forced and never sounds right. I shall keep going and see what my editor-in-chief (sister) and t’other editor (uncle) have to say!

NZ: Story

Hello there. As nothing exciting has happened, I thought I’d share with you a story that I have been dabbling with since I first moved to New Zealand.

It is based, loosely (I like to tell myself loosely, but in all honesty, it’s not), upon the Maori Creation story. Obviously I changed several facts within the story (such as the number of children born, etc) but I think most of it is still the same.

A huge thank you must go out to my sister, for she has become my Editor, as it were, and points out all the niggling little flaws in my writing that I fail to pick up on. So yes, thank you very much, sister dearest.

Anyway, enjoy! This story was not meant to cause offence to anyone who feels strongly about the Maori Creation story – it is merely my own adaptation of it, as I quickly fell in love with the Maori way of life.


Long ago, in a time beyond the reach of human knowledge, the primordial parents of existence, Ranginui and Papatuanuku, lived in perfect harmony with each other. They loved one another, and destiny had brought them into a tight embrace that neither wanted to break away from.

However, Papatuanuku longed for children of their own. She broached the subject with Ranginui and his wrath was tremendous. It shook the very foundations of reality, threatening to tear them apart before life began. Gradually, his anger subsided, for his love for Papatuanuku over-powered his animosity towards the idea.

For years he remained in his Embrace with Papatuanuku. Throughout the years, Papatuanuku grew gradually more and more saddened. Her love for Ranginui still burned strong in her heart, but her desire for children to call her own grew stronger day after day. Her spirit began to fade, as a great veil of despair and sadness began to separate her mentally from Ranginui.

Ranginui began to feel her slipping from his grasp. The veil was growing in substance, as Papatuanuku’s woes grew heavier and heavier. Finally, when Ranginui could take it no more, he whispered softly in his lover’s ear.

Papatuanuku’s spiritual body seemed to shimmer and glow at his words. The veil lifted, and warmth flooded into the surrounding universe. This was the first stage that began life as we know it. Ranginui had granted her wish.

Several long years past, as Ranginui and Papatuanuku’s love grew strong and fast again. Their embrace was reinforced, and they perceived nothing more that could tear them apart. Papatuanuku bore Ranginui three sons: Tumatauenga, the eldest; Tangaroa; and Ruaumoko, the youngest. A daughter they had as well, Whiro, who was the youngest of all four children.

These children dwelt in the gap of the tight Embrace of their parents, and all were content for several centuries, until the children began to grow and their minds expanded. It was Tumatauenga, the eldest and the one with most longing, who first raised the subject with his siblings.

“Have you ever wondered what is Beyond?” said he.

“Beyond?” responded Whiro, the most humble, despite her age. “There is nothing beyond the Embrace of our parents.”

“You are a fool for believing so,” said Tumatauenga. “There is everything Beyond; whole new spaces that await our touch. We could sculpt our own domain, away from the constraints of this embrace. This constraint is not where we belong.”

“What would you suggest then, Tu?” asked Whiro, curious of where her brother’s thoughts were taking him.

“I believe,” began Tumatauenga slowly. “That our parents have been locked in their embrace for too long.”

His words were met with gasps of astonishment from the rest of his siblings. “I think,” he continued, unabashed. “That there is no other alternative than to kill our parents.”

“That is enough, brother,” cut in Tangaroa, his temper heated by Tumatauenga’s callous words. “Our parents gave us a life of our own and you wish to throw it away to chase some foolish dream.”

“I am with Tangaroa,” agreed Whiro. “Mother and father gave us everything – why would you want them dead?”

“What say you, little brother?” asked Tangaroa, speaking to Ruaumoko. “Are you satisfied remaining here? Or would you like to see what is Beyond?”

Ruaumoko did not respond for a long while. His thoughts were befuddled and lost, drifting from the possibilities of Beyond and the safety of the Embrace.

“I believe,” he said, after deep consideration. “That there is something Beyond.”

“See, Ruaumoko agrees with—“

“However,” continued Ruaumoko, interrupting his sibling. “It remains that we owe mother and father more than what you propose. Death is not something that should be dealt without due consideration. Give it a while, older brother, and if you still feel the same way, then perhaps we can consider a more peaceful possibility.”

Time passed in slow fashion for Tangaroa. His thoughts were ever consumed by a desire to go Beyond. However, none of his siblings felt the same pang. None brought up the subject again. Tangaroa was frustrated, and believed that they were more than content with living in such a confined space.

But he was wrong. Since the conversation of the Beyond, Ruaumoko’s mind was slowly beginning to change. He found his thoughts drawn more and more towards what could be Beyond. Yet he did not voice these thoughts. He loved his brothers and sister and he had no desire to create a divide between them. So he sat in silence, brooding, as the thoughts of Beyond slowly consumed his mind.

“What troubles you, brother?”

Whiro had noticed her brother’s forlorn periods of silence. She sat and joined him, looking expectantly into his face.

Ruaumoko sighed. “It is Tu’s words that have stirred conflicting thoughts within me. I wish to see what lies Beyond, but the pain that would cause would rent me apart.”

“You are not considering killing our parents, are you?” said Whiro sharply.

“No, my dear sister,” consoled Ruaumoko. “I seek a more peaceful alternative. The death of our parents is far from my mind, yet I cannot shake the possibility of what might be Beyond.”

Whiro looked deeply into her brother’s eyes. She saw the confliction that had buried itself deep within his mind. And she took pity upon him.

“Come,” she said, standing up and holding out her hand. “We go talk to our parents.”

“The Beyond is a dangerous place.”

Whiro and Ruaumoko stood in the presence of Ranginui and Papatuanuku, their parents.

“If you venture Beyond, then we can no longer guarantee your safety,” said their mother.

“So you believe there is something Beyond?” said Ruaumoko.

“Believe? No, son, we know there is something Beyond,” said Ranginui. “More than something, in fact. There is an endless space, rife with possibility, if one only knew how to seize it.”

“How do you know such things?” whispered Whiro.

Ranginui looked down upon his daughter with nothing but love in his eyes. “Child,” he said. “We know many things. You are kept safe here, in between us, so that we may protect you from all that is bad. Yet our sights are constantly upon the horizons, searching.”

“Searching? For what?”

“For whatever may be out there,” answered Papatuanuku. “For any possibility that we may seize and expand upon.”

“I do not understand,” said Ruaumoko, his voice quivering with excitement and confusion.

“We exist for a single purpose: to create life,” began Ranginui. “Do not ask us how we know that this is our purpose, for it is not clear to just us either. Yet it is clear in our minds that we are the Creators. So far we have created you, our children. But that is not enough. Life must go on beyond you, and for that, we require what might lie Beyond.”

“So that is why we are kept safe? So that we may prolong life?” asked Whiro.

Papatuanuku smiled down at her. “You display wisdom beyond your years, dearest daughter.”

“Then is it not safe?” pressed Ruaumoko, growing more impatient as his parents showed no sign of understanding the reason for their visit.

“We do not know, son,” said Ranginui softly. “That is why we search and you wait.”

“But we are tired of waiting,” said Ruaumoko, the words he longed to say suddenly tumbling from his mouth. “We spend our days in your Embrace, with no knowledge, no anything to keep us occupied, save that of each other’s company. It is a dreary way to spend our lives.”

“I see.” Said Ranginui, thinking. “And you all feel this way?”

“Tu definitely does. He,” Ruaumoko hesitated. “He was the one who first voiced a desire to see what lies Beyond.”

Ruaumoko glanced sideways at his sister, silently asking whether to tell them the whole truth. Whiro locked eyes with her brother just long enough to shake her head ever so slightly.

“We must discuss this, children. We shall call for you when a decision has been made.”

Ruaumoko and Whiro bowed and left the presence of their parents and re-joined their siblings.

Papatuanuku and Ranginui took little time to make a decision. Soon, all the children were summoned before their parents and Ranginui addressed them all as one.

“We are aware that there have been speculations of what might be Beyond and whether there is a way to see it for yourselves. Your mother and I have discussed this possibility.”

“And? What was your decision?” asked Tumatauenga, impatient as always.

“It is not safe Beyond,” said Papatuanuku, as gently as possible. “We know you all may be restless, but you must understand that we only keep you in our Embrace for your own protection.”

“But what is unsafe about the Beyond?” pressed Tumatauenga in earnest.

“As to that,” replied Ranginui. “We have no answer. Danger lurks everywhere. Always poised to strike, always waiting for those who are too pure of heart to heed its sinister shadows.”

“I do not understand why we cannot g-“

“That is enough, Tumatauenga,” interrupted Ranginui sternly. “We have made our decision, and you cannot sway us. You are safe here, and safe is where you shall be kept.”

“Father,” said Tangaroa, speaking for the first time. “Is it not our choice whether we stay or go? We have lived and grown in the Embrace. It is all we have ever known. You cannot expect us to stay here for eternity, whilst you constantly comb the Beyond for any threat that may or may not be there. New life cannot be brought to fruition unless we are there to nurture it.”

Tumatauenga looked at Tangaroa in shock. He had thought that his brother was content to live within the safety of Embrace for the rest of time.

“I see you, to, seek what is Beyond,” said Ranginui.

Tangaroa bowed his head. “It is true that Tu’s words sparked my mind into wondering. I love both of you, and would never cause you harm with intent. Yet my heart also yearns for what might be out there.”

“Our decision has been made,” continued Ranginui. Firmly. “You will wait in our Embrace, until a time comes when we deem it safe.”

“But father-” began Ruaumoko, but Whiro interrupted him.

“Thank you for your time, father,” She said, bowing low to Ranginui. “And thank you as well, mother.” Another bow she bestowed upon Papatuanuku, who looked down at her once again and smiled.

“They are insolent and ignorant.”

“Enough, brother Tumatauenga,” Said Tangaroa. “We know what you are thinking and we bid you fight the darkness that envelopes your mind.”

“Even you, brother, cannot deny they care little for our wants and needs,” snarled Tumatauenga.

“You yourself spoke of a desire to see what is Beyond. Is there any other option than what I suggest?”

“Perhaps, if we all worked as one.”

“What is your great suggestion then, dearest brother?” mocked Tumatauenga.

“I do not know as of yet,” answered Tangaroa calmly, not rising to his brother’s tone.

“Let us each try on our own,” said Ruaumoko. “And if that does not work, we shall all work together.”

And so it began. First came Tumatauenga. Angered by his siblings clouded minds, he lashed out at his parents. A great roar came from him, and within it were hurled all the hurt and woes that he now felt. Yet his parents were seemingly unmoved. Defeated, Tumatauenga slunk back to his siblings, angry and dejected.

Next came Ruaumoko. Once again, he tried to talk to his parents. But to no avail. Without the counsel of his sister, Whiro, he was soon angered and his fury erupted out of him, and he also ended up defeated and saddened.

Whiro refused to make an attempt. Pressed by her siblings as to why, she answered in a simple tone: “Enough pain and torment has been caused by our words already.”

Guilt clawed at her heart like a wild beast vying to break free. No words of comfort from any of her brothers could help cure her sadness.

Finally, came Tangaroa. Long had he mulled over his sister’s words. First, Tumatauenga had waged war with his parents through his words. Then, Ruaumoko had failed to win a debate with the parents, and had ultimately ended up exploding with anger. Clearly their parents were not to be swayed, whether by anger or by civilised conversation. A different tact was needed. He looked around and saw what must be done.

Laying upon his back, he summoned to him all the strength he possessed, and with that he pushed against his mother and father. A great strain was the ensuing battle. Tangaroa’s wild, untameable youth, against the ancient love Ranginui and Papatuanuku held for each other. For many days and nights, these two forces vexed each other, ever swaying this way and that. Until, one day, Tangaroa began to feel the Embrace slip. With renewed strength and vigour, he let loose a roar that sounded like the crashing of waves against the shore, and with one final push, the Embrace was broken.

Thus the world was created. Ranginui remained afloat up high and was named anew: Sky Father. Papatuanuku fell, no longer supported by her husband, and became Earth Mother. Finally, the children were free. They soared down, little more than spirit, until they came into contact with their mother once again.

Despite her anguish, she would not forsake them. She nurtured them, and gave to them immortal bodies. Then she spoke to them, and her words were heavy with sadness. “You have caused grievous pain to us. We shall now never again feel one another’s touch, and must spend all eternity gazing at each other with love, knowing that it was our children that caused this.”

Paptuanuku’s words struck hard. Whiro fell to her knees before her mother and wept for forgiveness. Even Tumatauenga, the most detached of emotions, could not avoid the feeling of shame. Yet it was Ruaumoko who was affected the worst.

For five days and five nights his guilt rose up within him. Each night he would hear, as though through a void, the voices of Sky Father and Earth Mother calling for each other, longing to embrace. On the dawn of the sixth day, his guilt finally broke. Another roar he let loose, this one more terrible than the last. It awoke something within him, and he shed his newly gifted immortal body and became one with his mother. The last words his siblings heard him utter were: “we shall all rue the day we broke the Embrace. All our descendants shall know my wrath!”

Here was born Ruaumoko, the Guardian of Volcanoes and Earthquakes. Long was his anger endured, and through pain and suffering he rent the world apart. Land shifted, and mountains of fire were born from his boiling hate.

Ruaumoko became the first small stones that start an avalanche. Tumatauenga’s shock at his brother’s anger soon turned to jealousy. Ruaumoko now wielded so much power that Tumatauenga felt weak. So he took it upon himself to be the Guardian of War, for he foresaw that any kin that walked the earth would constantly be at war, and he would draw from their destructive auras, making himself more powerful than his brother.

Tangaroa saw the physical pain that Ruaumoko and his fire-mountains were causing the Earth Mother. He embodied water, and became the Guardian of the Sea. Where he could, his water would swallow up the fire created by his brother and attempt to ease the torment Papatuanuku was subjected to.

Long were Tangaroa and Ruaumoko locked in battle. With each volcano made dormant, Ruaumoko’s anger slowly ebbed away. Finally, he was drained of his power. He himself lay dormant, much like his creations, thanks to the power Tangaroa wielded. Ruaumoko had given into the hate, and now lay waiting, occasionally testing his brother’s strength, waiting for the right time to boil over once again.

As for Whiro, she remained upon her knees weeping for many days and nights. No domain did she take for herself, for she felt apart from her siblings, and did not wish to cause more grief to her parents. One day, Tumatauenga came and spoke to her.

“Why do you still weep, little sister?”

“The pain we have caused can never be cured. Don’t you see, Tu?” said Whiro, looking up into the face of her brother. “We have broken that which gave us life.”

“But we are free now,” replied Tumatauenga, perturbed by his sister’s strange words. “Is this not what you wanted?”

“Nay, I never wished this. I wished to see the Beyond, not break the Embrace.” Suddenly, she found a stronger voice within herself, and her sadness was replaced by anger. She stood up and defiantly looked into the eyes of her brother. “This is your doing, brother.”

“You cannot place blame upon me,” snapped Tumatauenga, stung.

“Blame can only be placed upon you. Was it not you who first voiced a desire about the Beyond? Ever since then, your words found a way to enter and fester within the minds of our siblings. No more do I wish to call you as brother.”

Tumatauenga recoiled. Shock however, was soon replaced by anger. And the anger soon turned to hatred. He no longer saw Whiro, his innocent little sister, with whom he shared a great love, in front of him. Instead he saw a girl who dared stand in his way.

Such is the way of War. Anger on both sides leads to hatred being born. Once where there was love and kinship, comes detachment. And after the hatred, the confrontation begins. Then comes death.

So it was that Tumatauenga, in total anger, smote down his sister. From then on, guilt ever lived in his heart. Destroying one so innocent taints even the most pure of heart, and yet Tumatauenga was never pure of heart. It overpowered him, and drove him mad.

Yet he never forgot his sister’s last words: “I shall forever be at your back brother. No power shall you draw from the dead, for now that is my domain.

With that, the Lord of Death and Evil was born. She took upon herself all the hatred, anger and suffering in the world and it slowly wound its way into her mind, until it consumed her.

She took no immortal body, for she did not need one. Instead she floated as a spirit, preying upon the dead. For when the Embrace had been broken, Papatuanuku had given birth to animals and man alike. Already hatred was within their hearts. Animal turned upon animal, and soon the weaker of the animals were hunted by the stronger. Then man came, and no animals was safe, nor any kin. For Tumatauenga, Guardian of War, had lit a fire within them. A fire that threatened to consumed even the most gentle of beings. Instead, war spread like disease.

And Whiro, Lord of Death, revelled in the decay and despair.


Ranginui – Sky Father; primordial parent

Papatuanuku – Earth Mother; primordial parent

Tumatauenga – Guardian of war; child of Parents

Tangaroa – Guardian of the sea; child of Parents

Ruaumoko – Guardian of volcanoes and earthquakes; child of Parents

Whiro – Lord of all things evil and sad; child of Parents

There you have it. Above is listed the characters/beings that were mentioned in the story, as even I sometimes get lost amongst the wide array of Maori names.

I hope you enjoyed. I shall update my blog soon. Later today, I am off to a football game, to see Wellington Phoenix play! I am looking forward to that, and shall describe it to you in the next blog post.

NZ: A Second Maori Experience

Getting back on a Stray bus was an interesting experience. Firstly, this bus was much smaller, more like a mini-bus, and could only fit about 20 people, opposed to the big Stray bus we’d been on before that could’ve sat at least 40. Secondly, it was somebody’s birthday, so the bus was covered in birthday decorations (as well as balloons, which became a living nightmare whilst the bus was moving). Thirdly and finally, we met a whole new load of people. Once again, the male to female ratio was in the favour of the women, yet it wasn’t quite as bad as before. There was another large variety in nationalities again though, ranging from English (Team England, YEAH) to German and even further onto… Irish. That was about it. Oh, there were two Americans and an Australian as well, but I think that was it for nationalities.

Either way, the bus was not quite as comfortable as its bigger, and vastly better, counterpart. Still, we made do. We left Rotorua, gratefully leaving behind the smell of sulphur (except for the scent that lingered on some of the Strays), and were informed that our first stop would be another Maori culture night. I can’t say I was particularly disappointed by this prospect, as I enjoyed the first so much, I couldn’t see how this one would be any different. In a way, I was completely wrong. But in others, I was completely right.

The second Maori experience was completely different. Nevertheless it was just as enjoyable as the first. Whilst we were still on the bus, a clipboard was passed around with the possible activities that were available at the Maori lodge. The options were: weaving, bread-making, eeling, and canoeing. Canoeing was an instant no, partly because the weather was being temperamental (as it is in the land of “four seasons in a single day”), but also because I just don’t like canoeing. I also passed up on the opportunity to weave, as we were told that we’d been weaving some sort of plate we could take home, and I knew I just didn’t have enough space to hold it (later we found out that people actually weaved bracelets, not plates). So that left me with bread-making and eeling. Eeling I felt I had to, as they were my newfound least favourite animal. And the bread-making won me over because who doesn’t like bread?

On our arrival, we were greeted by a very bouncy and energetic Maori woman, who had a habit of calling everyone ‘whaanou’, which means ‘family’, or by the unbearable nickname ‘babes’. She was nice, though. She showed us around, explaining where we’d be sleeping (I managed to secure myself a double bed), what they did as a community, and what the plan was for the evening. We were left to ourselves for a while and so went exploring. We ended up finding the most unlikely couple ever: a goat, and an ostrich, named Oz. They were best friends, apparently, and were especially interested in us when they smelt food.

The Maori had a unique way of catering for guests: a hole was dug in the ground and a fire was lit. Then, meat was placed on top on a tray. Blankets were thrown over the food, along with hessian sheets. This was then all buried under more dirt and left for several hours to cook. This was one of the most interesting cooking experiences of my life, but the meat was very good. Following watching holes be dug for food, it was Happy Hour.

Happy Hour, for those who don’t know, is something of a ritual in New Zealand. Each bar you go to, there is usually a Happy Hour, which has a habit of comprising several hours instead of the intended one hour. This “hour” is where you can buy drinks for a discounted price. So, naturally, our Happy Hour at the Maori Lodge, was buy two beers/glasses of wine for $5. I ended up trying a New Zealand beer called ‘Tui’, which was described to me as having a ‘caramel-y taste’. This was complete lies. It was nice, but tasted nothing like caramel. Either way, when I was only half way through my first beer, we were called in to begin our bread-making.

We were told we would be catering for all our group, and the bread would take the form of “fried bread”. Fried bread is just pure heaven. Best bread I have ever had. Baking it was relatively simple as well, and soon we had plenty of bread for the whole “tribe” (we even got to try some with jam and cream whilst ours were frying). After the bread-making was done, we sat back down and socialised, whilst the weaving group went and weaved flax together.

Eventually, it was time for food. I may have over-indulged slightly. Maori always over-cater, as I think I said in my previous post, and I took it upon myself as some sort of challenge to eat as much as I possibly could. This Maori culture use no knives or forks. So dig in with the good old hands and just stuff your face. There was chicken beef, roast potatoes, eel (which I quite enjoyed), sweet potatoes, bread, more bread, and even more bread. Safe to say, I was stuffed by the end of the meal. Then came pudding. My mind is actually drawing a blank on what pudding was, but I definitely ate lots of it.

Eventually, once it was dark (and cold) we went eeling. This was an odd experience to say the least. Firstly, the four boys who went put on waders. Yes, there is a photo, and I shall attach it to this post. Then we all headed down to the river, where we were given some sort of rod (not sure if you could really call it a rod) and some bait. Then the boys waded into the water whilst the girls stayed upon the jetty.

All in all, we caught one eel. Then lost it, because the dog decided to try play with it and pushed it back into the water. I had, over the course of an hour, two bites. Both times the bastard stole my bait and swam away, victorious. However, I did not fall over in the water! So I was quite proud of myself for that.

Last but not least, once we were back at the lodge and all dry, we watched Kill Bill Volume 2, which is always an enjoyable way to end the evening. I actually ended up having the worst night’s sleep I’ve had since I arrived in New Zealand. Though, this has now been shattered by the night’s sleep I had during my first night WWOOFing.

WWOOFing updates comes later I’m afraid. I would write about it now, but there is a lot to write about and I’m sure you’d like to know about it after I’ve actually settled properly. For now, enjoy the lovely pictures I bestow upon you.

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NZ: A Maori Experience

Chronological order has gone a bit askew with my blog now. I have now done Waitomo Caves and other things as well as the Maori experience – in fact, the Maori experience came after the Caves – but, as I found it so enjoyable, I wanted to dedicate a full post to the Maori experience. So please, try and enjoy!

Although we spent less than 12 hours in total experiencing the Maori culture, I still feel as though I learnt a great deal. It was, after much due consideration, possibly one of the most interesting and insightful days of my life so far, not to mention fun and a little bit chaotic.

Before we arrived, there was one thing that had to be sorted: a chief had to be chosen for the tribe (the tribe being our Stray bus). Much to the annoyance of most of the bus, the chief had to be male. This left a choice of a grand total of five people to be nominated for chieftainship (is that word?). Two of these males, barely spoke English and therefore were not voted for. Then there was Tom, who’s only real supporter was his girlfriend. This left me and Keith to battle out a game of “give-us-a-woo-for-your-favourite”. Keith was, and still is, actually an extremely nice guy. He is 34, from what I believe, and lives/lived in Las Vegas. But at that time, he was my worst enemy. He happened to have a terrific pair of lungs, capable of belting out the last “woo” I have ever heard. And thus, I was elected as chief. The youngest traveller on the Stray tour was chosen to lead the tribe. Bit of a turn of events.

Anyway, enough of the disgruntled chief. We dropped to members of our tribe off at different hostel where they were being picked up by some stranger none of us knew. At this stop, we were suddenly ambushed by two Maori people: Ruth and Richard (oh yes, he was also a Richard. Life was good). Here, they explained who they were and gave directions to our driver, who is known as Keys, and will not tell anybody how she got that nickname.

When we arrived, my duties as chief were brought to fruition. Now, in the Maori culture, women are considered more important than men. The chief may be male, but women gave birth to the chief, and therefore are believed to be necessary, whilst men can be easily replaced. So, the women had to enter the “meeting house” first, followed by the chief and his group of men, small may they be. Another cultural belief, is that your shoes must be removed and placed outside the meeting house before you enter. The logic behind this, is quite complicated, as well as a bit unusual. Each meeting house is unique to the individual Maori tribes. However, every Maori meeting house is based upon the human body. The symbol over the entrance, represents the head. Then, once you get inside, the beam running straight down the middle is the spine, with the beams running down the roof representing the ribs. There is also only one window in the house: it is a large window, located right next to the entrance, on its left side. This represents the heart. It is considered disrespectful or offensive if someone were to wear their shoes inside the house because you would not enter the body (metaphorically, I hope) in this manner.

And so we all got very wet as we took off our shoes, as it was raining quite heavily. Once inside, I, the chief, sat in a chair nearest the Maori people, of whom there were only five of at the time. The women sat on the floor, whilst the men sat on comfortable leather chairs (don’t ask me why this happened). The chief of the Maori tribe then said a prayer. The chief, or acting-chief as I found out, was funnily enough the other Richard. Clearly Richard is a name that is meant to lead (I actually seem to recall my name meaning “great leader” or something along those lines). The prayer, which was in Maori and never translated for us, lasted for a few minutes. Then it was time for my moment. The moment where the chief must show his leadership. I stood up, and said two words in Maori… That I have completely forgotten.

Either way, it was the signal for our tribe to sing, as is customary in Maori culture. Not sure why, but our tribe had chosen the song “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”. And so we sung, not with a complete lack of harmony, might I add, for the Maori people. They merely laughed and clapped, as I would have done at the choice of such a song. Then it was time for the official greetings.

Not sure if any of my readers are familiar with the traditional Maori greeting. It involves a handshake, yes, like most people. However, you then touch noses, twice (not three times. Three times means you must marry the person, as I was told). As chief, it was my job to be the first “new family member” to perform the greeting. Feeling exceptionally foolish, I touch noses twice with each Maori person. The reason for the two touches, is that it is believed that in this way, you are exchanging breath. You breathe out with the first touch, then in with the second touch, and thus become true family.

What made matters even more bizarre, is that after I had greeted each Maori person, I had to join the end of the line and then greet our tribe in the same manner. These people from all across the world, who had never met properly, were suddenly getting very invasive of each other’s space and touching noses (luckily not three times). I also had a strange conversation with other Richard, chief to chief, as it were. It went something along the lines of this:

“Oh, so your name’s Richard?”

“Why yes, it is!”

“I see! My name is also Richard.”

“Oh, fantastic! It’s lovely to meet you.” (Touch noses, twice, laugh awkwardly, and walk onto to the next person).

Finally after all, we were all seated again and the Maori culture was explained a bit more. Here, we learnt why the house was built as it was, why we went through the greeting process. We were now family, in the eyes of the Maori, which gave me a feeling of happiness. Then, as is custom with the Maori greeting, we all ate together to complete the bonding.

Now, this food, was merely a taster of what was to come. Bowls of fruit were put out for us, along with plenty of cookies (because who doesn’t just love having the choice of four different packs of cookies to eat from?). Hot drinks were also provided. I surprised myself and went for a “wild berries” flavoured tea, that wasn’t too bad. Perhaps I tad weak, as I could mostly only taste boiled water, but the smell was divine.

After our “afternoon tea”, as the Maori called it, we asked to sit down at watch a Maori performance. This, accompanied with a new cup of tea, this time nectarine flavoured, was highly enjoyable. Their performance was a mixture of singing, which at times was always beautiful, but sometimes sad and sometimes happy; the “poi” (probably spelt wrong) that involved two round sponges on a piece of rope that they used to make a beat; and the Hakka, which was terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Richard was very adept at pulling faces that we presume were meant to be scary, but just ended up making us all laugh. The noises he made as well… They had one of my friends in fits of giggles, which in turn caused me to laugh hysterically. What a sight we must have been.

Then came the Maori’s favourite part of the night: the audience participation. The first part wasn’t too bad I suppose. We were all taught the various parts of the body in Maori, and then we were encouraged to dance the Hokey-Pokey in Maori. With a great deal of thrusting, wriggling and just generally hesitant movement, we survived the song. But then, they sprung their deadliest surprise. The women, were to perform the poi to the group. The men, were chosen to perform the Hakka. You know, the grand total of five males that we were, opposed to the twenty-odd females.

So we were taught the Hakka. I have, in a moment of rash stupidity, noted down the instructions on how to perform the Hakka, so I can teach others the strange movements that are required (along with the excessive amount of shouting and weird facial expressions).

I can’t say that our performance was great. Then again, neither were the women’s. Both group had five minutes to learn, memorise and practise their respective performances. But it was soon over, and then it was time for real food. And this, my friends, was a real meal. Not the noodles, or pasta, or fast food, that I’ve been living on the past few weeks (apart from the night before, where I had a meal with my Uncle’s friend – thank you for that, by the way, Mark; Kim is very nice). The food involved: chicken, roasted to perfection; potatoes, equally roasted to perfection; vegetables, roasted, but not to perfection (and yes, mum, I did eat them). Then came other vegetables, of the carrot and pea variety, which surprisingly I also ate. Then, what kind of roast is complete without being smothered in gravy. And how could I forget the garlic bread, which was glazed with sesame seeds and was just so tasty.

Moving on from my overly dense paragraph focusing almost entirely on food, we were then asked to retire to the meeting house, where beds had now been set out for us to sleep on. There, we got ready for bed, naturally, and then listened to sound of other Richard’s voice as he told us stories of the Maori way of life. He told us about “challenges” where if someone’s honour or dignity is threatened, they will challenge the insulter, and end up having a fight with giant sticks. These used to, and apparently still do occasionally, end in death. Richard had a tale of how his own cousin insulted his honour, and he had no choice but to knock him across the head with a stick and left him unconscious for several hours.

The next story, was regaled at my own request. It was the Creation Story, or Story of the Gods (or Guardians, as the Maori call them). I shall try my best to describe the start of the story, to the best of my ability. No Maori names will be included, as they are complicated, and my mind is just not up to memorising long names/words.

In the beginning, there was the father of everything, known as Io (pronounced ee-o). And Io, being a man, married a woman, whose Maori name translates to “Idea”. Now, these two ‘beings’, as it were, created two primordial parents: the Sky Father (whose name I think is Ranginui) and the Earth Mother. These two loved each other. It is believed that when the sky and earth began, they were held together in a tight embrace. So, the Sky Father and the Earth Mother are in this tight, loving embrace, where the world is not formed as we know it. These two then had children. 88 children, to be exact. However, there are only 7 important guardians: the guardian of the forest; of the sea; of volcanoes and earthquakes; of tornadoes and whirlwinds; and three others that currently escape my memory.

Now, these children of the primordial parents, were kept tightly in between the embrace that the Sky Father and Earth Mother shared, and were therefore very uncomfortable. Throughout time, they kept on asking their parents to give them a bit more space. And so the embrace slackened slowly, and the children were given more room.

One day, however, Sky Father refused to give them any more space, and he felt he would lose his grip upon his wife if he did such a thing. Following this, he tightened their embrace again, and the children were once again caught in an uncomfortable position.

And so, the guardian of the forest became fed up. He brought up the situation with his brothers and sisters and gave them one option: the only way they would be free was if they killed their parents. Many of the other guardians disagreed and so it was decided that they would each try, in their own manner, to break their parents apart, without causing injury.

Now, all 88 guardians tried their own way of breaking them apart, but none could manage to separate them. Even the guardian of the forest could not find a way. Frustrated, he lay down upon his back, cramped though he was. His feet rested upon his father’s abdomen. An idea struck him. Using all the strength he could manage, he began to push forwards, pressing his feet further into his father’s stomach.

After some time of strenuous pushing, the Sky Father finally succumbed to the pain and was forced to relinquish his hold upon his wife. And so the Earth Mother became the ground and the Sky Father became, well, the sky.

The actual creation story of humans as we know them (sort of) involves the guardian of the forest being jealous of the fact his father having a wife, and therefore attempts to create one for himself. However, he lacked the power to do it by himself, so he asked all his brothers and sisters to help. So each guardian gifted the manifest he had created with their own unique power. Finally, the guardian of the forest breathed life into his wife, as he is capable of as trees are what give us oxygen, and therefore life.

Apologies if this story seemed vague – it was all done from memory (as well as a bit of research I did prior to asking the question, due to a desire to try writing a story based around the Maori… maybe).

It seems I may have been side-tracked from describing my Maori experience. Not that I think there is much more to say… After our bedtime story – of which that was the last, as most people had fallen asleep – we all went to bed, as is expected after receiving a story prior to bedtime. Now, sleep took a little while to envelope me in her loving arms. My head was full of Maori stories and culture, and possible ways to construct a decent story-arc without making it either offensive to the Maori, or boring to readers of all cultures. Either way, once sleep did arrive, I slept like a baby.

Until I was rudely woken at the disgusting hour of 5:45, as some person (who shall not be named, though I will say they were American) foolishly believed it would take them an hour and 15 minutes to get ready for breakfast at 7. Needless to say, I went back into a comfortable slumber and woke again when my alarm went off at 6:55. This food was, once again, delightful. The Maori always over-cater, as is tradition in their culture. What is lovely about it all though, is that the excess food is then sent to children or old people who are struggling for money.

Anyway, breakfast consisted of three pieces of French toast (or Eggy-bread, as it is known in the Ford family), an apple and two bowls of cereal. I was very content after all my food.

Here ends the tale of my Maori experience. We packed, moved our luggage back onto the bus, and sat down. Other Richard then stepped onto the bus and said another Maori prayer, wishing us all a safe journey and saying that, as we were now family, we were welcome back at any time.

I don’t think I will ever forget this experience. It was insightful, delightful, and not a little bit painful (save from doing the Hakka, where you have to slap your chest quite hard).